Excerpts from Love Letter from Auschwitz by Peter Kuhn, originally published in The Mindfulness Bell.
My wife Jackie and I joined the Zen Peacemakers for a five-day Bearing Witness Retreat at Auschwitz, followed soon after with a trip to the European Institute of Applied Buddhism (EIAB) where we joined the Living Happily Together Retreat with Thay (Thich Nhat Hanh) and the Dutch Sangha.
Bearing witness is an attempt to see all sides with equanimity, surrender attachment and aversion, and embrace the seamless nature of all that is.
On most days there was a period of silent meditation and chanting the names of the dead, but other than that, the idea was to be fully present, to “listen” to the voices of the camp and to be open to whatever arose.
Walking through rooms filled with artifacts, I tried to remain mindful of my breath and grounded on my feet. In truth, I was often numb as we passed through rooms full of suitcases, razors, hair brushes, shoes, and children’s clothing. These exhibits are stored behind glass and felt impersonal to me — until I saw the mountain of human hair. Confronted with the relics of the countless dead, I broke down sobbing. Here were the remains of actual living beings, many of whom were my Jewish ancestors
The deep reality penetrated the walls of my defenses. Suddenly it was all very personal.
I wondered how “they” could do this. How could people ever perpetrate a Holocaust like this or allow it to happen? I heard the soft voice of our guide say, “All of this is because somebody thought they were better than somebody else.”
His words chilled me. I realized I am guilty of that, too.
We spent the next four days at Auschwitz II, also known as Birkenau. I was surprised by the lush green beauty surrounding the countless rows of ruined barracks. I expected bare, fallow ground, but instead, noticed birds, grass, flowers, and even deer in the ruins of the gas chambers and incinerators. How could there be such beauty in a place of such horror? In a moment of penetration that reached to my bones, it struck me that nothing is either all “this” or all “that.”
Meditating on the railroad tracks where incoming prisoners were unloaded and sorted for work or immediate death, I heard an ancient train whistle blow. I touched the part of me that is the Nazi officer, pumped up with arrogance and discrimination, lusting for power and domination, waiting for the next trainload of “sub-humans” to arrive.
I also saw myself as a Nazi camp guard, waiting for the same train with sadness and dread. I realized the Nazis were victims as well. Those who refused to serve were executed; many lived in fear for their lives and the safety of their families. Others were victims of ignorance, or were swept away in the collective consciousness of their time. The quiet voice of humanity was often drowned by blind obedience or the rationalized safety of conformity.
Seeing myself as a prisoner in a boxcar, I thought I would commit suicide rather than endure the degradation of the camp.Then I realized that if I killed myself, I would destroy my capacity to help others and offer even the slightest comfort.
I saw my potential as a bodhisattva prisoner, sharing a crust of bread while starving, saying a kind word or extending a comforting hand, and offering dignity in the face of demoralizing degradation as so many reportedly did at that time.
Deep in the shadow, I came to understand how exquisitely precious even the smallest act of kindness can be.
Unfathomable Love
The last day at Auschwitz, as we walked across the consecrated ground of the camp, where every inch had been kissed by the ashes of cremated prisoners, I felt myself walking with all of you, my Sangha, at my side. I felt myself walking with Thay’s footsteps, and the Buddha breathed with my lungs, bringing peace in the midst of grief and sorrow. I walked with all my ancestors, with Poles, Germans, Gypsies, and Jews, with my spiritual ancestors, and with all of my descendants. Each step was a blossom of unfathomable love and forgiveness.
A week later, in a Dharma sharing group in Germany, someone asked, “Why would you go to Auschwitz?” I didn’t know how to answer.
It became evident to me over the next few days: I went to heal.
Looking deeply into other, I saw self. If my compassion could arise at Auschwitz, I could certainly offer the same grace at home, in the community, or to myself.
We live in the shadow of World War II. I see the war’s continuation in Vietnam, Bat Nha, Darfur, Tibet, Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel, Palestine, Arizona, and in each of us. I aspire to hear with soft ears of compassion instead of fear or arrogance.
May I remember that in the diversity of the all is oneness and in the one is all.
Join us in Bearing Witness this November
This year, Zen Peacemakers from all over the world and all walks of life will gather again in Auschwitz-Birkenau to read the names, hear the stories, and bear witness to the joy and suffering of life together.
Scholarships are available to support those from a wide range of backgrounds and means in attending.
We invite you to join us.
Bearing Witness Retreat in Auschwitz-Birkenau
November 15-21, 2026
Oświęcim, Poland
Learn more and register here
Peter Kuhn, ‘True Ocean of Joy’, is a musician, writer, and lay Dharma teacher living in San Diego, CA. He was ordained by Thich Nhat Hanh in 2011and received Dharma Lamp Transmission in 2025, marking his appointment as a Dharma teacher in the Plum Village tradition. Peter volunteered with the Prison Meditation Project of San Diego for nearly a decade and with Compassion In Action, sitting bedside with the dying at the local VA for years. He is the co-founder of Open Heart Sangha, a Buddhist Sangha in San Diego, and founder of 12 Step Zen.